Catching the Ice Queen Read online

‘And.’

  ‘And she’s also blonde, and very beautiful.’

  ‘And.’

  ‘And what?’

  Mickey waggled her eyebrows and Robin laughed. ‘I am off sick, you know. I can’t do anything energetic until the doctors give me the all-clear.’

  ‘So let her do the energetic bit. You can just lie back and enjoy it.’

  ‘Mickey!’

  ‘What? Don’t tell me you haven’t been thinking about it.’

  Robin blushed and her friend howled with laughter. ‘I have been thinking – about her – all the time. She is amazing.’

  ‘Good. You’re amazing and you deserve someone amazing in return.’

  ‘Oh be quiet.’ Robin busied herself looking out of the window.

  ‘Don’t be quiet me.’ Her friend was ruthless. ‘You have no idea of the effect you have on people. You’re gorgeous, super fit, and you’re a lovely person. The only reason you’re not beating women off with sticks is because you never go out anywhere.’ She saw Robin looking mortally embarrassed and grinned. ‘All I’m saying is good for you, and when can me and Katie meet her?’

  ‘Thanks. And – don’t know. She’s a bit nervous about things, I think.’

  ‘Things being a relationship with another woman?’

  ‘Yes and no. I think the relationship bit is alright, it’s just she’s quite senior and she wants to keep her private life private.’

  Her friend shrugged, and pulled up outside a semi-detached on a quiet suburban street. ‘Privacy is fine, secrets can be sexy, but if she ever looks ashamed of being with you then she’ll have me to answer to.’

  ‘Fine. I’ll let you know.’ Mickey impulsively leaned across and punched Robin on the shoulder. ‘Oi! What was that for?’

  ‘It was for that big fat soppy look on your face,’ she said, and grinned. ‘Now are you viewing this room, or what?’

  ‘So what was the room like?’ Lara Black tucked her hands into her pockets of her short charcoal coat as they turned to walk along the sea front. The sun was sinking across the peach and blue evening sky, but despite the lateness the whole place was still crowded. Robin had been worried that this was a bit public for their meeting, but they were just two people amongst the countless thousands who’d flocked to the seaside at the first signs of good weather. She gazed at the woman walking beside her; she had let her hair down again, which seemed to be her off-duty style, and wore a smartish navy dress under her coat. Robin had tried to dress up herself for the occasion and was glad that she’d bothered with her tailored blouse and trousers. She sneaked another glance and felt blood rush around her body. She’s so gorgeous it makes me feel faint. Lara looked and caught her staring. ‘What?’

  ‘Sorry. I was just – looking at you.’ Robin grinned sheepishly, but her heart leapt when Lara laughed, and playfully scowled. The blue eyes twinkled with fun and with something else, something more tentative. Gently Robin took the woman’s hand and threaded it through her arm. ‘Is that ok? You can always pretend that you’re helping me back to my bath chair.’

  Lara snorted, and tightened her grip. They walked along for a while, hooked together, in an easy silence. ‘The room?’ she asked again, smiling.

  ‘Oh, it was perfectly fine.’ Robin had been pleasantly surprised that the house share had been so clean and tidy, although the microscopic bedroom itself was a bit of a let-down. Lara cocked her head towards her as if she’d sensed that feeling of disappointment. ‘The house was great, other tenants were fine and quite normal compared to some of the weirdos I’ve met.’

  ‘But?’

  ‘But…’ Robin frowned up at the seagulls effortlessly keeping their places on the buffeting wind. ‘But the room was tiny. Just enough space for a single bed and a cupboard.’

  ‘I see. You’re worried that it will cramp your style?’

  ‘What style?’ they laughed together, which felt nice. ‘No, I mean it reminds me of the kind of bedroom you have when you’re a student. Small, plain, functional. It’s – it’s just, I don’t know.’ They moved through the mass of visitors and leaned on the railings.

  ‘It’s just what?’ Lara regarded Robin with her serious blue eyes. Robin smiled.

  ‘Is that how you get people to confess?’ she asked.

  ‘What do you mean?’

  ‘I mean, do you look at them with those beautiful eyes and just wait for them to admit everything?’

  ‘I don’t mean to pry,’ said Lara, ‘but you seem sad. I’d like to know why, if you want to tell me.’

  ‘You’ll think I’m stupid.’

  ‘No I won’t.’

  Robin sighed and stared out at the darkening water. ‘It made me feel like a failure,’ she said at last. ‘Like I’d be going backwards in life, not forwards.’ She shook herself, trying to shift the mood. ‘Come on, I’m being dismal. Let’s go and eat.’

  Lara gave her another searching look and then smiled. ‘Ok, Sullivan, but I reserve the right to recall the witness.’

  They slowly strolled down the flight of stone steps to the lower promenade. The crowds were thinner here, and Robin was acutely aware of the moment when Lara casually dropped her arm, walking slightly less closely beside her. Mickey’s warning played loudly in Robin’s head.

  ‘You’re a very private person, aren’t you?’ she said as they wove through the people streaming along the edge of the beach. Lara looked round, the icy look threatening to overwhelm her face. ‘Look, don’t freeze on me. I just want to - understand you better.’

  The woman shoved her hands back into her pockets and sighed. ‘Fair enough. I am, private, I mean. I don’t like other people knowing my business.’

  Feeling her way carefully, Robin nodded. Above them, music drifted down from an open-sided pavilion where half a dozen couples were ballroom dancing in the twilight. She watched them twirling together and lightly touched Lara’s arm to make her stop and look.

  ‘So, I’m guessing, you wouldn’t like that?’

  Lara looked up, confused. ‘What? Ballroom dancing?’ She laughed. ‘Who would lead?’

  ‘No, what I mean is – you’d prefer not to be in the open like that? Taking your partner in your arms for all the world to see.’

  Lara stared at Robin for a long second, and then walked on. ‘My counter question is: why is it important for other people to see you – dancing? Why not dance in privacy?’

  Despite everything Robin snorted with laughter. ‘Private Dancer? Isn’t that a Tina Turner song?’ Lara smiled.

  This stretch of beach was peppered with numerous restaurants stretching out towards the pebbles, all doing brisk business as the Spring day bloomed into a clear night.

  ‘How about this one?’ asked Lara as they reached a smart-looking bar and picked a table under a heat lamp. ‘I’ve been here before and the tapas is really good.’ She glanced at the menu and then over at Robin. ‘Shall we just get some things to share?’

  ‘Sure.’

  The waitress with the trendy pink hair and the nose ring smiled and jotted down their order. ‘And to drink, ladies?’

  ‘It’ll have to be water for me, unfortunately, thanks to that knock on the head.’ If there was ever an occasion for a glass of wine, this is it. ‘But you have whatever you want.’

  The woman shook her head. ‘Water is fine. A big bottle of sparkling, please.’

  Robin hoped Lara hadn’t noticed the speculative look that the girl shot them before moving off towards the bar and kitchen. Would it help if I imagined myself to be a straight woman just out for a meal with her friend? She wasn’t sure how she could pull that off, considering every glance at Lara Black ricocheted around her like lightning. Those blue eyes drilled into Robin’s and she felt herself go dizzy.

  What felt like ten seconds later a bottle of sparkling mineral water was placed onto the table in front of them and Robin blinked, like waking from a trance. She saw Lara demurely unfolding her napkin onto her lap and smiling at the waitress, fully back in business-p
rofessional mode.

  ‘How do you do that?’

  ‘Do what?’

  ‘Just –‘ She waved a hand to try and grasp at the words. ‘- look so cool and calm when you’re not really like that underneath, are you?’ Lara smiled, a glint of teeth behind her stretching lips giving a hint of something dangerous. ‘See, there you go again.’

  The other woman laughed, and there was a rueful note to it. ‘Why I am all ice queen on the surface, you mean?’ She took a sip of water. ‘Necessity, I suppose. With my job, exposing corruption, always being the outsider brought in to do the local’s dirty work, it means I make enemies. I just can’t afford to give those enemies anything to get hold of, to bring me down.’

  Robin gulped at her own water and tried to concentrate around the edges of a headache that began to bubble behind her eyes. ‘I get that. God knows the station wits have enough fun ripping the shit out of all of us at the best of times. But it’s not the 1970s, we don’t have to pretend…’

  The warning note sounded loud and clear in Lara’s voice. ‘This is who I am, Robin. I can’t change it.’

  Into that moment of silence the tapas arrived, the pink-haired waitress wisely not making any comment at the sudden, awkward atmosphere as she placed the array of small dishes across the table. When she’d gone, shooting Robin a sympathetic smile that fortunately Lara didn’t notice, the older woman leaned in and sighed.

  ‘I’m just a private person, Robin, that’s all. I hope that doesn’t mean you don’t want to spend time with me.’ Before Robin could answer, she went on: ‘And I suppose I’ve got used to being the Ice Queen at work, and it kind of spills over into everything else too. When I was first labelled with it, I thought I could either try and fight it, or just make it work for me. I chose the latter.’

  ‘Who labelled you with it?’

  ‘My ex-husband.’ The look of pure astonishment on Robin’s face made Lara roar with laughter, setting off a ripple of turning heads around them. ‘From the way your jaw just hit the table I’m guessing you’re surprised I was married.’

  Robin tried to pull herself together. ‘Er – yes,’ she managed, then: ‘Sorry, I don’t mean to pry or anything.’

  Again that languid smile. There was no part of Robin’s body that wasn’t now spinning. ‘I met Pete when we were both at Hendon. I was – really young for my years, and he seemed much more mature, much savvier. I knew I was attracted to women,’ she quirked a grin, ‘but I thought I should try and get past that. And he wanted to marry me, and I wanted to be…’ she sought the right word, ‘I wanted to be normal, I’ll own up to that.’

  Robin reached across the table and squeezed her hand, then picked up her glass of water so Lara wouldn’t worry.

  ‘Thanks. And it wasn’t all bad, you know? It was just never going to be what either of us wanted.’ Above them, a string of multi-coloured bulbs came on with a pop, casting a halo of pale pink across Lara’s pensive face. ‘Anyway, long story short, I was better at the job that Pete was, and that annoyed him. When I got promotion after promotion while he was stuck being a constable – well, then it really started to fester. Put that together with his view that I wasn’t ‘enthusiastic’ enough in bed, and it gave him the perfect ammunition to try and undermine me at work. Voila! The Ice Queen was born.’

  ‘Christ, Lara.’

  The older woman laughed, and stared out across the darkening beach for a while. Eventually she smiled sadly at Robin. ‘I’m really glad you’re that much younger than me, it means you didn’t have to deal with quite the same sort of rubbish.’

  ‘I’m sorry you had to deal with it.’ She scowled, ‘Where’s this Pete character now?’

  Lara chuckled, a much more natural sound. ‘He’s an insurance salesman in Derby, re-married with three teenage children, so before you launch a campaign of retribution I think he’s been punished enough, don’t you?’ They laughed together. ‘But thanks. And he was right: I didn’t like having sex with him because I wanted to be having sex with women instead, and when I finally admitted that to myself everyone was a lot happier.’

  And there it was again, that glint of promise and desire. Robin knew that she should probably walk away, but there she was – so achingly beautiful, and clever and funny, and she knew it was already too late. This woman is amazing, she’s incredible, she shows this cool persona on the surface but underneath she’s so sexy it’s insane.

  ‘But still private.’

  ‘Still private.’

  ‘OK. Privacy, I understand, secrecy even,’ she managed to say. ‘But I don’t want to ever feel that we are hiding because we are ashamed of who we are.’ She reached for the bowl of olives and noticed her hand was shaking. ‘That’s my line in the sand.’

  ‘I’d never be ashamed of you.’ Robin’s pulse leapt as Lara reached up as if to twist a strand of dark brown hair out of her face, but dropped her hand instantly when a loud group of woman suddenly pounced on the table next to them. She wants me, but doesn’t want anyone to see her wanting. She tasted disappointment amidst the excitement of knowing she was being desired.

  ‘This is so mad.’ Despite the lack of alcohol Robin felt heady in Lara’s company. The woman’s searchlight eyes scrutinised her for a second.

  ‘You look tired, are you ok? I keep forgetting that you’re supposed to be taking it easy.’ As the group beside them began loudly quizzing the waitress about cocktails Lara leaned across the table, her voice dropping low so only Robin could hear it. ‘I’m being selfish because I want you here with me.’

  Robin took a gulp of water and tried to calm down. ‘I want – lots of things.’ She let her gaze roam over the woman opposite, unguardedly for once. Her eyes tracked the long column of her throat, following it down to the swell of her breasts under the navy dress. Forget privacy, I’d push that dress up and take you right now. Something of these thoughts must have shown on her face as she was rewarded by a faint pink blush colouring those alabaster cheeks. Under her spiking blood pressure her own head was aching again. ‘But I might have to pace myself a bit.’

  Lara laughed, a sexy peal that attracted some looks from other diners. How does she ever think she’s not being noticed? marvelled Robin.

  ‘Good point. Let’s eat.’

  Somewhat to Robin’s relief they talked of everything and nothing while they ate. When the last of the little plates were empty and cleared away, Lara leaned forward on her elbows. ‘Do you feel like telling me what you were going to say earlier?’ Darkness had now fully fallen. She was picked out in the soft golden light of the lantern on the table and Robin thought she’d never seen anything more beautiful.

  She swirled the last of her water around in the glass as she tried to catch her breath. When she thought she could string two words together sensibly she said: ‘I’m thinking of leaving the police.’

  ‘Leaving?’ The other woman was shocked. ‘Why?’

  ‘Lots of reasons, really. But it came home to me the other week when everyone thought I was Sylvie Dean’s mole. Hardly anyone spoke to me, you know? They all just kept their heads down in case I was in trouble. And that made me feel very alone.’

  ‘You’re not alone.’ Under the table Robin felt the pressure of Lara’s foot against her leg. I wish she’d just take my hand, she thought. ‘What would you do if you left?’

  ‘Um, my brother has a restaurant in Melbourne. He’s been on at me for ages to join him in running it. It could be fun.’

  This wasn’t at all what she wanted to be talking about. Do I want to be your naughty little secret, DCC Black? She turned and looked at her again and was bowled over by her poise, her beauty and by the sparkle of intelligence in those deadly eyes. Yes, I do, damn it. Suddenly she felt a wave of exhaustion sweep across her and her head dropped.

  ‘You look worn out,’ said Lara immediately.

  ‘I’m fine,’ she protested.

  ‘Concussion is a tricky thing, you can’t overdo it too soon.’ She smiled, but could see that Robi
n was troubled. ‘Are you ok?’

  ‘Yeah, you’re right, I’m just flagging.’

  ‘Come on, I’ll drive you home.’

  The walk back up the beach was slow as Robin felt wiped out, exhausted by the maelstrom of sensation she was feeling. Although they’d carefully kept their distance on the way back to the car, as soon as Lara pulled out from her parking space she reached over and took Robin’s hand.

  ‘Are you really ok?’

  Robin let her fingers twine into Lara’s, just enjoying it in the moment. She felt light-headed with tiredness. ‘I’ve wanted to touch you all evening.’

  Lara smiled. ‘Me too. But answer the question. Will your landlady be there to look after you?’

  Robin slumped back and closed her eyes, keeping Lara’s hand tightly captive. ‘No, she’s over at Derek’s tonight. But I’ll be fine, I just need to sleep.’

  The other woman said nothing, but dimly Robin could sense she was worrying. They drove in silence for a few minutes until Robin realised they’d pulled up to the curb.

  ‘Come on,’ Lara went round the car and opened the passenger door, helping Robin to her feet with a hand under her elbow. How very chaste, Robin thought vaguely. They climbed the steps slowly and Lara took the keys from Robin’s hand to open the front door. Inside, Lara pushed the door shut again as Robin clicked on the hall lamp and turned to face her.

  ‘Thanks.’ Her head was pounding and she felt oddly detached from her body, so saw rather than felt her own hand reach gently up to stroke the pale cheek, the blue eyes staring intensely. ‘I would so like to invite you in for some private time, but I couldn’t do you justice.’

  Lara hushed her, pushing her hair out of her eyes and pulling her into a close embrace. Despite her exhaustion Robin’s body roared into life at the contact. I wish I had the energy to take your hand and lead you upstairs. She closed her eyes in anguish at the mental image, so achingly impossible in this state. Lara leaned back to look in her face, and Robin opened her eyes to see her just millimetres away. Her eyes were drawn irresistibly to the woman’s beautiful full lips. A faint whisper of breath tickled her skin and she leant in and brushed them with her own. For a tantalising second Lara responded, her hands circling Robin’s waist tightly, but then she stepped slowly back.